New Course soon to launch in Close Companions Online Relationship Academy: Mindfulness for Couples
Physical affection and sex offer a myriad of opportunities to practice mindfulness with your partner.
As you kiss on the lips, notice how your body feels as you attend to the sensations of the present moment.
Remember what behaviors you had when you first fell in love and mindfully repeat those behaviors.
Mindfully look into your partner’s eyes with compassion for his/her struggles.
Find ways to connect mindfully with your partner in the present moment through laughter, mutual memories, walks, and shared affection. This becomes a positive bank account of emotions so, when times are hard, you have these connections.
Initiate sexual contact and use all your senses to experience the moment. Look into your partner’s eyes, play special music, savor the touch of skin, smell scented candles or massage oil. Always return to the sensations of the present moment. By using all your senses, you heighten mindful experience.
It is possible to mindfully cultivate a compassionate awareness of your partner by following these steps:
- Sit quietly for five minutes at a time and pay attention to your breathing. Since mindfulness is a practice, it is better to do this for longer. However, short segments can also be helpful.
- Feel the breath moving into your heart with kindness and care and repeat: “May I be free of suffering. May I be at peace”.
- Allow yourself to imagine healing in parts of your body most in need. Continue repeating “May I be healed. May I be free of suffering” with each breath. Notice areas of tension and breathe into those places. You can imagine that tension is like knots that you can begin to loosen with your kind attention.
- Imagine loving kindness with each breath. Continue breathing as you focus on your loving-kindness and relating to yourself with tenderness while sending well-being into your mind and body. Repeat for a number of breaths: “May I find my greatest joy. May I heal into my true nature”.
- Now bring your mind to your partner and imagine that you can send them warmth and kindness. With each breath think, “May you be free from suffering. May you be at peace.”. Continue the breathing of connection and this wish for their happiness and wholeness, repeating: “May you be free from suffering. May you know your deepest joy, your greatest peace.”. Continue and picture your partner’s presence with a wish for their healing and deepest joy.
To rekindle your relationship, mindfully pay attention and treat your partner as you treated him/her in the beginning. Don’t take him/her for granted and most important: enjoy moments spent together, living it in the present. This is what mindfulness is about!